AN ADVENTURER IS ME!

The perfect no-budget game for the low-budget gamer, this role-playing game spoofs all other role-playing games with self-mockery, reference humor, and a sense of silliness reminiscent of Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett boozing it up at a sleepover at Kevin Smith's house. Not only entertaining, the game is COMPLETELY FREE.

The Story

The Naughty Sorceress has managed to kidnap King Ralph the XI and imprism him within her lair. Upon hearing this news, and seeking fame and fortune, you have come to the Seaside Town, the capitol of the Kingdom in hopes of freeing the King. Of course, the Council isn't going to make this easy--you must first prove your worth by completing various quests. Doing so "unlocks" more and more of the Kingdom for your exploration, helping you find the many items and creatures that will help you reach your ultimate goal.

You start as a member of one of six "classes," types of adventurer that are predisposed toward the sort of violence, mayhem, and low cunning required to succeed at the tasks ahead of you. There are beefy Seal Clubbers and Turtle Tamers, who prefer to fight their enemies head-on, the mystical Pastamancers and Saucerors, who prefer to let spells and their secret recipes aid them on their paths, and the cunning Accordion Thieves and Disco Bandits, who sing and dance their ways, respectively, to their opponents' demise. As you improve, you can learn new skills from your Guild or even from other creatures you meet along the way.

Each day, you are assigned a given number of "adventures" which can be used to perform certain actions or search areas of the Kingdom. This starts off at a generous forty per day, with certain other modifiers providing additional adventures. More adventures can be accrued through eating, drinking, and other special circumstances that can be discovered in-game. Clever players can figure out the "recipes" that can be used to combine different food items to make better food and drink, many of which are based on either puns or silly, trimmed-down versions of "real" recipes or mixed drinks.

Wealth in the Kingdom is based upon Meat mined in the Big Mountains (apparently, the hills *are* alive in the Kingdom of Loathing). Aside from meat's basic use at buying and selling the in-game items (you can even buy a store in the mall for fun and additional profit), it can be made into meat paste that can stick items together to make new items, and into stacks of various density that can be variously pasted and crafted, if you can figure out how.

In Kingdom of Loathing, Quality is Job Q.

...and "Q" seems to stand for "Quick." This is deliberate. With all the beautifully-rendered, high-powered ultragraphics out there, the creators of Kingdom of Loathing work entirely with stick-figures and text, leaving plenty of room for jokes and problem-solving puzzles that can require more than just straight hack-and-slash procedures to work. Read everything. Not only will it provide clues, it will, quite probably, make you laugh. There's even an homage to old-fangled text adventures.

The game itself is in a sort of "permanent gamma state." While the serious bugs are gone from the game, the developers continue adding more and more content while fixing the minor stuff. The result is a game that's incredibly rich, especially given the fact that it is TOTALLY FREE OF CHARGE

The Joys of the Social Fustercluck

In a game like this, which is primarily a solo pastime, there is a tremendous amount of social interaction, whether through the game's K-Mail Message System, the Gift Shop, the optional Player vs. Player competitions, clans, or the chat system. Players can "buff" each other in order to help with adventuring, cover each other's campgrounds with toilet paper, or just generally brag and boast. As if that wasn't enough, an "internet radio station" has sprung up, manned by volunteering KOL players who occasionally hold contests and give-aways during their shows. Of course, as with anything free, this means that just about anyone can play, and so there can be plenty of pointless sophomoric chatter about "b00b13s," but moderators generally take care of any significant amounts of jackassitude.

One of the fansites also manages a Kingdom of Loathing Wiki, complete with full hints and spoilers for most of the game, growing as the game does, the knowledge base growing with the contributions of many of the players. If you get stuck, check there for help.

General Hints

Most of the game is fairly straightforward or at least simple to learn. I do have a few suggestions, though, for those starting out:

Start your first character as a Seal Clubber. It may be a bit more single-minded and repetitive than the other classes, but don't worry, you'll get a chance to try out all the other classes in due course.
Get yourself a mall store as soon as it is affordable--it's a great source of greater income from some of the more commonly-used items, especially the combat-usable items and potions.
Enough Moxie will keep you from getting hit (most of the time).
In the chatmo, do chat and make friends with others. If you have "buffs" you cast for others, do so. Karma definitely applies in this game.
Even though the game is free, donations are a good idea, and not just because you get Mr. Accessories which are great in-game and can be traded for special items, but because the development team truly rocks, and this helps keep the game going. Don't impoverish yourself, but remember that this is essentially ad-free entertainment at no cost to you, whereas most other games require you to essentially "rent your entertainment" with subscription fees. Donate what you can, when you feel like it. If you're currently poor, no worries. The game's still here for you!
Just Try the game. You'll be glad you did.

Now go with Wibble. Or not.

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