April 1st, 2002: I announced my move to Oak Park, Michigan; my website address was in the e-mail.
April 2nd, 2002: I hear back from Nik Maack, stating:
I respond back the same day, stating:
He accedes, and before I know it,
April 3rd, 2002: He creates "Portrait of a Nerd God.":
April 7, 2002: I find out that apparently, my head has some inspiring quality about it; Keith O'Connor has also painted a portrait of me, called NerdGod II:
April 8, 2002: I sigh and shake my head, the epithet "NerdGod" apparently taking root over the Internet. From what I understand, another portrait, NerdGod III may be on the way.
April 10, 2002: Mani De Li sends me the following message:
Included is my painting called: “Jacques strapped for words to praise Da daa Kooning a moment before boarding Trans-Vestite Air Line flight Zero.” Perhaps you might want to include this masterpiece on your site. More on my web site http://www3.sympatico.ca/manideli
And here is the picture he sent:
Now admittedly, I don't know why he chose the title, or did the mouth that way, but hey, he took the time to actually *do* it, so I'm including it here. I don't know for certain if it's intended as art, insult, satire, or "lazy surrealism," but I figure I might as well be a good sport about it. If people start doing this as "variations on a theme," with various "adjustments" to the original photo, I might just dedicate a separate page to it. I have to admit, though, I enjoyed visiting his website. Click on his name and take a visit. He makes some great points. I especially liked his article on Artspeak.
April 11, 2002: Mani De Li corrects himself, saying:
In error I sent you the starter sketch. No wonder you didn't get the title. Please change the inclusion to this one.He attaches the following: Naturally, I'm stunned. He doesn't stop there, though. Next thing I know, he's getting back to me with "Loving couple with Bush Anti-Sex League stamp of approval." The evidence is getting quite puzzling indeed.
April 12, 2002: I get a message from a woman in the Philippines who might be interested in doing a variant of me called "Nerd Goddess." At this point, I don't know if that's a threat or a promise. Life is just plain weird. Later on in the day, three more pictures come in, one, untitled, from Jack Schuller at Jaxart Place, and two more pieces of bold surrealism from cythera, called "Jacques Learns the Hula" and "Jacques Learns the Hula, Version 2 (The Full Montie)." No URL yet from her, but if she gives one, it will go up, too.
April 13, 2002: Corrections come in. Jack Schuller gives me a few options for title. I choose "Jacquel and Hyde." Also, cythera informs me that she goes by "just cythera with small c." I revise.
April 20, 2002: A file arrives this morning, "NerdGoddess Visits Siam Circa 1800." Apparently, Gwyn, the lady in the Philippines, has made good on her threat. No URL for her, as of yet.
April 21, 2002: Two things, a contact from someone who has written "The NerdGod Invocation" and a link to the Nerdity Test. Taking the test, I find that I am not the nerd I used to be--apparently there are new standards. My score is 55.33%--this leaves a question as to whether the epithet really means anything. Reading the test, though, suggests that much of nerdity, aside from scientific or technical aptitude, is a combination of curiosity and, oddly enough, tenacity. A nerd, apparently, does not let things slide. I manage that, sometimes. As for nerdity, I'll let you decide.
May 16, 2002: John Adams, on alt.surrealism, passes me a look at "Grandma Treatment" with no URL given to point to his other work. If he knew how close he was to an amalgamation of my ancestry, he might shudder fearfully.
June 2, 2002: Dale Houstman, from alt.surrealism, sends me "Nerd God (At The Fillmore West)" with no URL given yet, either. A trippy little offering for those of us who are, well, trippy.
July 28, 2002: Just when I think it's all over, mysterious woman named Angela sends me the following letter:
I have wandered through your Nerd God page, and quite frankly, I am appalled that there is no depiction of the vengeful, wrathful god. It became quite obvious as I studied the photo that this is the face of a god who maintains an image of benevolence and kindness to earn his disciples love, trust, and burnt offerings before he thunders down from Olympus to shove a fiery lightning bolt up someones ass. Or perhaps I've had too much vodka? Anyway, attached is my tribute. You will find that I lack the mad rendering skillz of Nik, keith, and Mani, but there it is. If I could stagger to my toybox for my Crayolas, I would add living color, but such is life.She also sends me a new Nerd God drawing.
August 7, 2002: Slipping in, as if from nowhere, Tanya Zivkovic sends this missive:
Dear Man, I look into the eyes on your website and I see no nerd. These eyes have seen things. There is some mention of a girlfriend at some point...nerds have no women...not true nerds, not the ones I hung out with in high school. Unless they were not true nerds. Now I confuse myself. I have created an image in homage to your eyes. Uh. I call it "figgy tits and Jacques". You're French? Good luck! Darling, Tanya Z.Here is the picture that she attached.
August 14, 2002: Thomas Armagost lets me know that he's involved my head in the SITO Gridcosm. Its caption? "modeling fashions of bluebirds birth of the baa cia wed to the nards of the Nerd God forever amen." From the look of it, I'm also visible on the next level. It make me wonder exactly how far this will go.
August 17, 2002: I arrive home after several games of chess at one of my favorite local nightclubs, The Labyrinth, only to discover new pieces in my mailbox from a Marilyn Gutiérrez and a Vincent Maxwell:
The middle two touch upon the Neopets addiction I used to have. Spooky. Apparently people *do* get out to the rest of my site.
August 20, 2002: I visit the Gridcosm to find out how Level 1196 is coming along... It's done! What I *didn't* expect was to show up in Level 1197! Then, as if that isn't enough, I find out that Mary of The Mary's Dollz has done a Nerd God doll image. I guess I must be secretly famous now, or something.
August 18, 2004: A friend of mine from on-line, Christiane, saw the picture and decided to do a new "portrait," Nerd God in the Lab.
Well, as with all nicknames, one must grin and bear it, I suppose. Perhaps some good may come of it. If more people make portraits of my head, I can put together a calendar. More than that, perhaps a book for an art store. Dumber things have been done for money, and by people FAR less impoverished and struggling than myself. Perhaps small NerdGod icons might grace the desks of programmers' cubicles, small libations of coffee offered beneath to entreat the benevolent nerdly spirits around them. Perhaps, if my image is that appealing, I might get a late-night talk show or a sit-com pilot. Hell, if I'm not careful, Lorne Michaels or someone will make "NerdGod: The Movie," starring someone gawd-awful like Adam Sandler. Or maybe they'll hire me to play the part.
What should I do about it? Send me your NerdGod ideas. Click here to e-mail me.
Click here to go back to the Labs.